No matter how bitter the divorce, the parents must always keep their children’s best interests in mind, ruled the Ontario Superior Court of Justice in A.G.L. v. K.B.D. et. al* last month.
The mother in this case was overtly controlling and didn’t permit the children to have any opportunity to spend time with the father. At trial, an expert clinical psychologist’s report indicated that the mother’s “level of vigilance and monitoring was unusual,” and that she was “unable to trust anyone other than her own mother to take care of the children” in her absence.
As a result, for example, the youngest child’s behaviour toward the father changed if her mother was not present. On one occasion, one daughter told her father “Don’t tell Mummy I did this,” referring to a hug and kiss she gave him.
What’s more shocking is how the mother infantilized her children. According to evidence presented at trial, one child at five years old was not yet toilet-trained, while another at three years old still used a bottle to feed at night.
Perhaps as a result of the mother’s manipulation, all three children (aged 9. 11, and 14 at the time of the trial) indicated to the court that they preferred to stay with the mother.
While the law generally place a great deal of weight on the preferences of children over age 12, indicated the judge, there are clear exceptions. One is where one parent has undermined the child’s relationship with the other. Accordingly, if the court finds that there has been parental alienation, “the child’s view cannot be seen as their own.”
In the end, the mother was stripped of custody and refused access to the children, as the court determined that she clearly did not have the children’s best interests in mind when trying to alienating them from their father.
This case is extreme. Seldom would a court strip a parent of the right to access the children without good reasons.
One the one hand, the harm to the children’s well-being as the result of the mother’s manipulation is undeniable. On the other, the court’s ruling will be difficult for the children to accept as they have lived with the mother for their entire life. As such, I suspect that the matter may be appealed.
*(2009), 93 O.R. (3d) 409
